Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
