She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
