I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
