Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
