It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
