Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am available for nakedness
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The Olympian is in my bed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
