If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
