I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
