There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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