Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
