so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
