The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize