Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
