Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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