This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
