too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
