Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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