"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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