you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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