I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
