matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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