anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
