puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
