He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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