i think my tv is drunk
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
