i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
