I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
