1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
