I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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