Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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