I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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