shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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