He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
