I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
