Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
