I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
