You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize