I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
