I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
