Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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