does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
