I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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