I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
