Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Houston, we have a blender
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
