Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I would fuck him just for his dog
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
