i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
