The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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