i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
barbara walters just said penis...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Randomize