His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
