There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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