APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
