remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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