You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
