You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
