I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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