rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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