he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
